How to streamline your wife

As advocated by Onesimus Tiwnamasiko


Ugandan MP, Onesimus Twinamasiko

Ugandan MP has put Uganda back on the map by stating that men have every right to beat erm… I mean streamline their wives.

Here’s a quote from the scumbag, Twinamasiko

“As a man you need to discipline your wife. You need to, you know, touch her a bit and you tackle her, and you beat her somehow, you know to really streamline her”

Mr Twinamasiko then goes to attempt to defend his statements  in a separate interview after realising that his views promote domestic violence and are a tad bit unlawful.
He states that in traditional African societies families were more stable compared to now because beating your wife was the norm and an acceptable form of punishment. He states that nowadays divorce and separation are on the increase because of men not beating their wives! He argued that there is transparency in a marriage where spouses slap each other. According to this dirtbag, slapping your spouse means you are ‘opening up to them’ and using this to sort out a problem. He argues that if a wife says nothing when a husband has angered her she will most likely plan to kill him or poison him (as if all wives are killers waiting to be born)

Mr Twinamasiko makes a distinction between the types of beatings; he states the ones which cause injury or death are wrong and a mere slap is fine with him, it’s a way of calling your spouse to order. He then goes on to contradict himself to say that domestic violence is at its peak but there is no violence.


yeah, I am confused too

Dear Men…

You cannot streamline your wife. You cannot tackle your wife, you cannot slap your wife, you cannot beat your wife. Wives are your partners. You do not discipline them; they have enough working brain cells that operate at adult level, they are not children! I repeat, you cannot discipline your wife, she is your partner.

In traditional African society there were good husbands, who didn’t beat their wives, there were also bad husbands who beat their wives. The reason there was no divorce and separation ‘back in the day’ was because it was taboo. Women were too dependent on men and afraid of the shame of returning to their parents’ home, that they remained in abusive relationships. In 2018 most women have jobs and have enough financial power to leave an abusive husband and live a happy single life without beatings. Be warned, if you raise your hand to your wife, she will dump you, and there is no shame.

Transparency in marriage is created through honesty and trust. Its not created through slaps. Where there are disagreements, adults normally talk about it and discuss solutions. On the odd occasion there may be sarcasm, grumbling, nagging, or even shouting but there should never be any slaps or beatings.
Dear Mr Twinamasiko, in a country with a functioning legal system, you will rot in prison if you beat your wife. And contrary to belief, upset wives do not poison or kill their husbands, anyone who attempts murder in a sane country may as well make the prison their home address.

Whether you slap your wife and never leave a mark, or whether you give your wife a black eye or break an arm… any kind of violent physical act is abhorrent! Do not do it! Men who occasionally slap their wives and make them cry are just as bad as those who severely beat their wives and send them to the hospital or to the morgue. They are all wife beaters.

That’s my two cents

I jus go waka pass nau


2 thoughts on “How to streamline your wife

  1. Portia Ndlovu says:

    Unbelievable that a minister, a learned man in a high position still believes in streamlining his wife. I feel sorry for his wife and daughters because he’s saying to his sons in law go on slap them. He is putting Africa in bad light all he had to say was in his household this is what happens not generalise.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. nathanielzmpofu says:

    This bugger, Twinamasiko sounds like a cross between Julius Malema and Emmerson Mnangagwa. Blurdy EDiot. He needs a clap every time he takes a piss. Civilization is going backwards no lie.
    I personally think it’s cowardice, insecurity and immaturity knuckling up for your woman.

    Thank you for the heads-up, Penmistress.


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